Tohma Hunt
by Shusoka and Ryzuki
Summary: Ryuichi, Sakano, and Mika all go on a Tohma hunt- the winner gets to keep him! Enjoy.


**Tohma Hunt**

**Ryzuki: Ya-ho! This was... a very random... spur-of-the-moment... kind of thing... Sleepovers are fun!**

**Shusoka: La li ho! I will be writing Tohma, Shuichi, K-san and Sakano.**

**Ryzuki: Writing will I be... Ryuichi... Mika, Kumagoro (yes, he is his OWN character) and Yuki... okay, we'll get started.**

**  
Disclaimer: Tohma needs to be limp more often... -whimper- We don't own the characters... nope... just the plot.**

**Warning: Implications of Yuki/Shuichi, Ryuichi/Tohma and Mika/Tohma**

"Okay, so these are the rules... you are not allowed to kill fellow competitors – except Sakano, he doesn't count – and if you kill Tohma it is an automatic win," Mika said, her elbows resting on the picnic table that her, Sakano and Ryuichi were seated at. "We have all the supplies we'll need, make as many traps as you want. Feel free to interfere with other competitors traps as much as you would like. Winner keeps him. We meet here at sundown."

Sakano gulped. "Shouldn't we tell Seguchi-san about this?"

Mika looked over at Sakano. "... no... he must not know about the hunt. The hunt is sacred. He'd be able to avoid traps that way!"

Ryuichi was busy making Kumagoro hop across the table, although he was listening. He soon looked up at Mika and Sakano, hugging Kumagoro to his chest. "So, are we starting now?" he tilted his head a little. 

"Indeed we are!" Mika got to her feet, and so did Ryuichi. "We just need to wait for Tohma to enter the forest... he should follow the bait any minute now."

Meanwhile...

Tohma was following the trail of strewn-about tacky coloured clothing. "Why would any leave these out? They're fashion sense is excellent!"

It was then that Tohma realized he had wandered into the forest.

"And now, the hunt begins!" Mika announced. "Ready? Go!"

Ryuichi and Mika picked up the bags they had brought (full of trapping supplies, of course) and sprinted into the forest.

"But I'm not ready!" Sakano stuttered, scrambling to his feet.

Mika headed down the trail that she had left, hiding in the bushes until she found the clueless Tohma, who was busy wondering why the trail had ended. "I swear... he's colourblind..." she muttered to herself as she loaded her tranquilizer gun, being as quiet as possible.

"Tohma! Watch out! There's – "

Sakano was cut off abruptly when Mika shot the gun, hitting him – totally missing Tohma. "Wow... that was way off... maybe I should work on my aim? Later, too lazy right now."

"Sakano? Are you all right? Why'd you just faint?" Tohma asked, still clueless, nudging Sakano's side with his toes. When he got no response from Sakano, he shrugged, turning and starting to walk away.

"All done! We did a wonderful job, Kuma-chan!" Ryuichi grinned, kneeling in the nearby bushes to watch over his fresh trap. Lying near a pile of leaves were some papers, thrown out in a disorganized manner. "This'll get To-chan for sure!" he laughed, then stopped himself. "Shush, Kuma-chan! To-chan is coming!"

It was about that time that Tohma had reached Ryuichi's location. "Ooh, paperwork! It's so disorganized... I guess nobody would mind if I put it all together," as he walked towards the papers, he tripped on something, and looked back to see a small hole in the ground. "Ooh, I guess I didn't see that earth pig hole!" (Earth pig = bad translation of groundhog)

"Earth pig hole? Is he talking about our pit fall?" Ryuichi looked down at Kumagoro, who was making nodding movements with his head.

"I can only dig so deep!" Ryuichi made Kumagoro reply.

"Yeah, that's true... time for plan B!" and then Ryuichi ran away...

"That should do it!" Sakano said, tying the rope and covering it with some sticks and leaves. He stood up, totally forgetting... "Ooh no, where did I put it?!" he panicked, flailing accidentally stepping on the trap, setting it off and... trapping himself.

Now dangling upside down, Sakano screamed. "Mika! Ryuichi! Get me down!" 

Mika slowly backed up a truck, the cage in the back rattling a little as she parked it, hopping out of the driver's seat and going around back. She jumped up onto the cage, kneeling there and unlocking it, carefully opening the door and releasing what was inside.

The pink-haired creature darted out, on all fours, hissing rabidly. It sniffed the air, catching the scent, and bolted into the forest.

Laughing evilly, Mika got off the cage and moved back into the forest.

Instead of following Tohma's scent, it was following Sakano's. Reaching the spot where Sakano was hanging, it sat up on its hind legs and started to swat at him.

"Ah! Shuichi! Don't hurt me!"

After realizing he couldn't reach Sakano down on the ground, Shuichi climbed up the tree and began to gnaw on the rope. "Shuichi? Sakano? What are you guys doing?" seeing a new predator, Shuichi instantly jumped from the tree and ran at Tohma – once again on all fours.

Immediately, Tohma turned around and ran. Anyone would be afraid of THAT...

"Plan backfired! Abort! Abort!" Mika picked up a big stick, and started to poke at Shuichi. Nearby, Tohma had run into Ryuichi's 'plan B', a huge net.

"I gotted a Tohma!" he cheered, as he began to drag the net away... being Ryuichi, without Kumagoro's instruction, he ended up grabbing the wrong end of the net – removing it from Tohma.

Feeling outnumbered, Shuichi hissed and retreated into the forest.

"Ha!" Mika hit the stick against the ground, feeling triumphant.

"What's going on? What's happening?" Tohma asked, looking around at the two of them.

Ryuichi blinked blankly. He looked at Kumagoro, then back at Tohma. "Bang!" he jabbed his finger into the middle of Tohma's back, hitting several nerves. "You're dead," he said, as Tohma fell limply to the ground.

Shocked, Mika blinked. "You banged Tohma?" she turned and looked. "Ooh... where did you learn that?"

"I learned that in chiropractics!"

Sakano sooner or later, caught up with them, having managed to get free of his trap. "Did you kill him?" he asked, panicking... again.

"Nah, he's only limp! This is how you kill someone!" Ryuichi then demonstrated on Sakano, hitting a pressure point... Sakano fell to the ground, motionless. "Whoopsie..."

"Let me guess, chiropractics?" Mika asked.

"No, cooking!"

Mika blinked. "What?"

"Ooh, hi... why are you guys out here?" Yuki asked, looking at the four – three living. He was accompanied by K-san, and they had just come into the forest.

"We're hunting Tohma!" Ryuichi said proudly, waving Kumagoro in the air.

"Really? We're on a hunt of our own!" K-san responded.

"Yeah, we heard someone set Shuichi free... we've been getting complaints... animal control wants him out of the forest," Yuki added, loading the gun he had received from K-san.

"We're using real bullets!" K-san cheerfully said. "We're going to shoot him in the ass!"

"You're going to bang Shuichi? Ooh, have fun!"

"He went that way," Mika pointed in the direction Shuichi had disappeared in.

Nodding their thanks, Yuki and K-san sprinted in the direction Mika had indicated, soon disappearing from view.

"Can someone please turn me over? My arm hurts..."

"Not now, To-chan! Kuma-chan and I are having fun!" Ryuichi said, making Tohma wave his available limp arm. Mika turned around, looking at Tohma and Ryuichi.

"We can have fun with him now!" Mika laughed evilly.

A few minutes after making Tohma randomly dance and move...

"Kumagoro! You're gross!"

"What did he say, Ryuichi?" Mika asked, looking over her shoulder.

"He wanted to know if Tohma could get a boner when he's limp..." Ryuichi answered.

"Hm... I wonder... let's check! Do you want to?" Mika inquired.

Tohma squeaked. "Please, don't!"

After a moment...

"Kuma-chan! I can't kill Mika! It's against the rules! Besides, she's nice..."

"We'll make a truce," Mika decided. "We both win... okay Ryuichi?"

"... and when Mika leaves, I get Tohma anyways..." Ryuichi continued his conversation with the stuffed animal.

"What do you mean?" Mika glared at Ryuichi, who jumped a little. Then she looked at Tohma. "Tohma... explain..."

"Ooh no! My mouth appears to be going limp too!" Tohma said, making up an excuse.

"But... I didn't press that button, silly Tohma!"

"Button?" Mika questioned.

"Don't worry, it's only when you don't know about it!"

And Mika never left the house again...

"I GOT ME A SHUICHI CARCASS!"

**Ryzuki: That was fun!**

**Shusoka: That was too fun to write!**

**Ryzuki: But... we wrote it. So how can it be too fun to write?**

**Shusoka: Must you make everything complicated? You're brain capacity can stretch as far as to let you make things complicated... yep.**

**Ryzuki: Yes...**

**  
Ryzuki&Shusoka: REVIEW... if you're cool.**


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